Trust...

The madness.  The week.  The deadlines.  You worry about everything, analyze everything, you miss your lover and best friend who is 500 miles away, and you just want to find time to go to a yoga class and bake some homemade muffins you’ve been craving for two weeks. 

So there you are, completely ready to jump to the bottom of the ocean to find some sanity.  Not literally, I only jumped in my dream two nights ago...  It was beautiful, I just kept swimming, and I could breath underwater.  But as I kept going faster I couldn’t slow down, and it proceeded to get deeper and darker.  I couldn’t go back to shore.  Eventually I made it back, but it was positively unsettling. 

While moving this week for the 5th time in three years, I find the Bhagavad Gita spilling out of a bag of books staring me right in the face.  It was like it was looking at me saying, “duh”.    

Last night, I go back to my Buddha with my chamomile tea, asking myself, why all of this stress?  These are the moments when you ask yourself the other question, “is it all worth it, and should I move to an island and grow my own food?”  Come on, we all ask it in our own little way, admit it.  Life is full of good stresses and bad stresses, DAILY.  Sometimes it hits you by the hour like a machine gun, which is hilarious.  Really, you have to laugh when the rounds start going off, you have to, it’s magnetic. 

You can tell yourself that this week is insane, and next week will be chill, but that’s just a pipe dream, but those can be fun too..  Sorry, tangent...   Be honest with yourself and know that chances are, next week is going to be just as insane, maybe even more.  But insane is good.  The inevitable imbalance it causes you which knocks you off your rocker, or in my case into the deep blue ocean, just allows you to check yourself and find Trust in the Divine which is part of all of us.  Balance can then be found.  It totally works.

My sister said to me this morning over our yummy chai lattes, “Shelly, you think too much”.  So instead of thinking today, I’m giving myself a break, and I’m going to Trust.  My new beach cottage is 253 steps from the ocean blue, so I’ll walk there today, and I will say, ok, I’m going to trust you.

Life is beautiful.